More on the Wilderness

1 Kings 19:1-18 ESV

1 Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow. 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers. 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, Arise and eat. 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you. 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.

9 There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah? 10 He said, I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away. 11 And he said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah? 14 He said, I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away. 15 And the Lord said to him, Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. 16 And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. 17 And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. 18 Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him. (italics mine)

Elijah flees, afraid for his life, yet, a day's journey into the wilderness, he asks God to "take away" his life, claiming, "It is enough." The phrase is a forshadowing of Christ's "It is finished", but Christ's work was complete, truly finished, while Elijah's is enough only in his estimation. Yet God takes pity on him, an feeds him, two times telling him to "Arise and eat." After his journey (40 days and 40 nights, yet another foreshadowing of Christ, this time of his time being tempted in the wilderness), he lodges in a cave. It seems as though he takes up residence there for a time.
God comes to him, and asks "What are you doing her, Elijah?" Elijah whines out that those unbelievers are trying to kill me, the only prophet left.
God doesn't reply to this obvious excuse, but instead tells Elijah to "Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord." Elijah obeys and is shown three poerful elements--wind, earthquake, and fire. But the Lord is in none of these. Then he hears "the sound of a low whisper" a small, still voice--This is the Lord.
Once again the Lord asks "What are you doing here, Elijah?" And Elijah repeats verbatim his first answer to the question. And again the Lord tells him to "Go," but this time sends him away--he is sent to "the wilderness of Damascus"--he has a job to do there.
All this time, Elijah has been in the wrong wilderness!!
He ran away, afraid to be killed for his faith, yet asks the Lord to take away his life. Elijah has been hiding in the wilderness. He excuses his actions--they want to kill me--forgetting that his life is not in his own hands, but in God's Hands. Only God has control over it. And God has the right to command him--whether to life or to death. Elijah has the duty to obey--no questions, no trying to hide from something he can't control--no excuses. God shows him that even one still, small voice is important--that he cares for that voice--feeding it so that it will not faint and die on the jounrey--40 days and 40 nights. God doesn't have it in for Elijah, and Elijah is not left to Jezebel's whims--God is always in control. But Elijah must reminded of this, even after the great acts he did in God's name just before this (see preceeding chapter).
Sometimes God calls, allures, us into the wilderness to commune with HIm--sometimes we run there, trying to escape His plans, and hiding from His purpose for us. We think--I'd rather die by God's Hands, than by "others", forgetting that we always die when God decrees it. We can never hide from death because God is in control of both our living and our dying.
Are you in the wilderness because God has allured you there or because you are hiding from His purpose? Ask--Am I being refreshed and thriving here or am I parched and withering?
God "knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Ps. 103:14) He feeds us in the wilderness, even when we are trying to leave HIm, trying to run away.
When we run away from God's will for us, we enter the wrong wilderness, a wilderness where there are no living streams to quench our thirst--we enter a wilderness of our own making, a wilderness away from God. Yet, thanks be, God "never leaves us or forsakes us," even though we may try to leave Him. He is so merciful, even repeating Himself to get the message into our thick skulls and stony hearts. Looking at the above passage, we can see that repetition plays a large role. God doesn't leave us alone; He wants us with HIM.
Elijah was fleeing from Jezebel, who desired to kill him. We may be fleeing out own Jezebel--those sinful parts of us that want to kill off the good. However, we can also be fleeing what is right--standing up against our evil nature. We chicken out, running away from the situation, pretending it doesn't exist and praying for God to "take us now," so that we don't have to fight anymore. We don't like killing ourselves, our old nature--that would be self-sacrifice--something we really don't like. Our old nature is so attractive, after all. We'd rather run away and avoid the situation, than face it and die. When we run away fromthe fight, we are running away from God. We don't, it seems, think He is worth our life. So rather than do the right thing, even though it will cost us something important, we run like cowards, and wonder why God has "left" us alone.

We must pray:
Ps. 139

1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying downand are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before,and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morningand dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me,and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me,and the light about me be night, 12 even the darkness is not dark to you;the night is bright as the day,for darkness is as light with you. 13 For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works;my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,the days that were formed for me,when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.I awake, and I am still with you. 19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!O men of blood, depart from me! 20 They speak against you with malicious intent;your enemies take your name in vain! 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? 22 I hate them with complete hatred;I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting!

Ps. 143:8,10 "Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me to know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul...10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground."

13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
14 Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry. 1Cor. 10:13-14 KJV

13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 1Cor. 10:13-14 ESV


Sin is placing yourself before God. It is becoming god to yourself. This, as the First Commandment shows, is becoming an idol to yourself--another god. When you sin, you are demonstrating that you feel that you are more important that God, and that you deserve worship and obedience before He does.

Self-centred gratification is sin.

Paul in the above quoted text first assures us that we are not alone in our tendency to sin("that is not common to man"), that God, whatever we may be, is always faithful, and especially, merciful and gracious. Then he assures us that God knows our weakness and will always provide an escape route for us in times of temptation. Therefore, flee idolatry. It is allowing ourselves to set up little "extra" gods before God (or in addition to Him) that gets us into trouble with temptation. Temptation and giving in to it is serving other gods--whaever they may be--lust, greed, or one of the other "Seven Deadly Sins". Serving them once is often too much. (See Eve in the garden.)

Truth and Temptation

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matt 26:41

God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. John 4:24

It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. John 6:63

But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me: John 15:23

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. John 16:13

Honesty.
Truth.

Deceit.
Lies.

Self.
Deceit.

Alone these words are bad enough, but when these two words are joined together -- Self-deceit/ self-deception -- sin cannot help but be present.

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth and if you are lying to yourself, or even not admitting the whole truth to yourself, you will find that all the praying in the world will not help you. Your self-deceit is also an attempt to deceive God, by pretending nothing is really wrong.
Confession is one of the most important acts of a Christian:

I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Ps. 32:5

He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. Prov. 28:13

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.1 John 1:9

Above all else, honesty to God and one's self is key in battling sin and growing as a Christian.

What is Sin

Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself.

Mrs. Wesley to her son, the great evangelist, John Wesley

Rubble

Nehemiah 4:8-11

And conspired all of them together to come and to fight against Jerusalem, and to hinder it.
Nevertheless, we made our prayer unto our God, and set a watch against them day and night, because of them.
And Judah said, The strength of the bearers of burdens is decayed, and there is much rubbish; so that we are not able to build the wall.
And our adversaries said, They shall not know, neither see, till we come in the midst of them, and slay them, and cause the work to cease.


The enemies of Nehemiah and those rebuilding Jerusalem want to stop the work on the walls, while the builders themselves are discouraged because of the amount of work that is before them.

Many hindrances and weaknesses may come against us, tempting us to give up building our walls against the Deadly Three: Satan, our sinful flesh, and the world. In my last post, I discussed how we are to fight against the opposition from outside our walls The burning arrows are an obvious threat and we can usually see them in time to get our shields up, whether we are alone or in a group (testudo), and protect ourselves. I touched on another danger that we face, the nearly-silent flights of arrows that rain down upon us out of the night. However, the danger does not only come from outside our fortifications, it can also come from within, and often it is when we are preoccupied with these inward perils that the stealth arrows arrive from without. Even though we have set a watch against such sneak attacks, the guards are tired, distracted, or just plain curious, peering down into the castle to see what's going on there.

Nehemiah and his companions were experiencing this problem. In Jerusalem, the builders are willing, but their first “wind” is gone. They are tired and sore-- “The strength of the bearers of burdens is decayed”--and the job is enormous! Rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem is no mean feat, but a monumental task—literally. Jerusalem is the capital city of Israel/Judah(the tribes are at this point split into two nations, each with their own king) and an ancient city at that, one that had been present when Israel arrived out of the wilderness to conquer Canaan. It was also the site of the glorious Temple of God built under King Solomon, and as one would expect such an important religious centre to do, Jerusalem had grown over the centuries. The Babylonians had torn down both the Temple and the city walls, and now a relatively small group of people were attempting to rebuild(see Nehemiah 3 for a list of those involved).

The builders are tired, particularly the bearers of burdens, who carry the stone and brick, and “there is much rubbish”--as one would expect when a city has been destroyed. It seems that there was so much rubbish, that it got in the way of the builders, delaying the work: “[A]nd there is much rubbish; so that we are not able to build the wall.”

This is a great discouragement, but it also comes at a bad time. Judah's enemies, and therefore Jerusalem's (there is much use of synecdoche in the Bible), are mustering to stop the rebuilding entirely.

And our adversaries said, They shall not know, neither see, till we come in the midst of them, and slay them, and cause the work to cease. (vs.11)

While Judah has inward trouble, their outer enemies also conspire against them. These enemies want to sneak in and surprise the workers, killing them and thus stopping the building.

However, the builders are not taken unawares. They have friends outside Jerusalem who know what Sanballat and his allies are planning.

And it came to pass that when the Jews which dwelt by them came, they said unto us ten times, From all places whence ye shall return unto us they will be upon you. Nehemiah 4:12

The warning of these Jews is emphasized-- “[T]hey said unto us ten times”. Commentators agree that these were Jews who were not helping in the work rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, but remained in their homes among the heathen. Yet they still had enough fellow-feeling with their countrymen in Jerusalem that they came to give urgent warning: Sanballat and his allies will attack any place they can, therefore, beware!

Nehemiah doesn't take this warning lightly, even though these other Jews were not helping in the building.

Therefore set I in the lower places behind the wall, and on the higher places, I even set the people after their families with their swords, theirs spears, and their bows. (vs 13)

In every place that Sanballat's men could gain access, Nehemiah places heavily-armed families (probably including the women) to keep them out. It is interesting that Nehemiah first writes that he set a guard in the lower places, the most likely places of attack, and also on the higher places. Nehemiah is not going to give Sanballat opportunity to scale the walls.

We too should be setting guards all along our walls, in the more vulnerable places and in the more secure places—nowhere should there be an opportunity for any of the Deadly Three to breach our defenses. In a variation of the well-known saying, “The best offense is a good defense.” Even after the walls are complete, they must be guarded to prevent the enemy from sneaking in and working us ill from within. What good are walls if the enemy is not kept out?

Notice that it is after Nehemiah has prayed to God and set a round-the-clock watch that this warning is brought to him. An application can be made here: Staying in relationship with God and calling on Him in times of attack and temptation, whether it be a full-out assault or an insidious one, will be our best bet for victory. We need to have the Lord on our side if we want to win.

But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge. Ps. 94:22

Defend your fortifications

But it came to pass, that when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and the Arabians, and the Ammonites, and the Ashdodites, heard that the walls of Jerusalem were made up, and that the breaches began to be stopped, then they were very wroth,
And conspired all of them together to come and to fight against Jerusalem, and to hinder it.
Nevertheless we made our prayer unto our God, and set a watch against them day and night, because of them.

Nehemiah 4:7-9

When enemies threaten the walls of Jerusalem, walls being re-built for protection from such enemies, Nehemiah does as we should: he and those with him prayed and set a constant watch so that they would not be taken unawares.

We must build walls against our own enemies: Satan, the flesh, and the world. The building of such walls will be challenged. Therefore, we must pray to God for his strength and protection, and set a constant watch, so that we do not fall prey to temptations and "hinder" or even, break down, the building of the walls.

We can see in these verses that prayer alone is not enough to protect us--we must also be active in patrolling our fortifications. If we are not on guard and alert to the danger that surrounds us, our enemies can silently slip past our walls and destroy both them and us.

Some may protest that posting a guard is tantamount to heresy--this is "works," not faith, and therefore, we are not trusting God for our complete protection. However, we are also commanded to

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23.

The word translated "keep" in the King James Version is the Hebrew verb meaning "guard, watch over." It is plain that we are to guard our hearts, as other translations, such as the NIV, translate this verse. We are to have faith in God, but after placing our faith in God, we cannot just lie back and expect Him to do all the work. We cannot be passive.

Paul commands us to do as Nehemiah: pray and set a watch.

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; (Eph 6:18 emphasis mine)

However, while we must pray and set a watch, we must also continue constructing the walls of protection. But how can we labour profitably when we are in constant danger? Nehemiah has a solution:
Therefore set I in the lower places behind the wall, and on the higher places, I even set the people after their families with their swords, their spears, and their bows... And it came to pass from that time forth, that the half of my servants wrought in the work, and the other half of them held both the spears, the shields, and the bows, and the habergeons;...
They which builded on the wall, and they that bare burdens, with those that laded [archaic =loaded], every one with one of his hands wrought in the work, and with the other hand held a weapon.
For the builders, every one had his sword girded by his side, and so builded.
Nehemiah 4: 13, 16a, 17,18a

The builders are armed, so that they can defend themselves in case of attack. We must follow their example, and here the term "militant Christian" is very applicable. Earlier in Ephesians 6, Paul commands us to "put on the whole armour of God" (Eph. 6:11), to be armed "that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." (same verse)

We are to

Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: (Eph 6:14-17)

Notice that we are not to take the "wiles of the devil" lying or even sitting down, but are commanded to stand. The Greek here can be translated "stand firm or immovable." In other words, we must be ready to fight and hold the line, not allowing our enemies to gain even an inch of ground. The Christian life is not one of passivity, but activity. We must be girded for battle; we must be warriors!

The only way we can fight, however, is if we have the equipment to do so. Paul tells us that we are to be fully clad for battle. We cannot just go out onto the battlefield with only our sword--we would be utterly vulnerable. Notice that while we have one weapon "the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God," we have to don a lot of armour:
"loins girt about with truth;"
"the breastplate of righteousness;"
"shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;"
"the shield of faith;"
"the helmet of salvation."

Every vulnerable place is protected: our hips (loins), heart, feet, and head. These are the places where temptations are most likely to strike: through our desires/lusts (loins), our emotions (heart), our daily walk/life (feet), and our intellect (head).

I purposely neglected one piece of armour: "the shield of faith." This piece of armour provides protection wherever is it needed, but also has a special function. Paul says,

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

The importance of bearing a shield is made clear in the following example.

In the movie, Timeline, scientists have discovered a way to teleport objects and people from one place to another. However, by accident they discover that they can use this technology to go back in time. A freak wormhole connects the teleportation device to a time in medieval France just before a horrific battle takes place between the English, who have captured a French castle, and the French, who have this castle under siege.

During the seige, the English longbow men shoot burning arrows down upon the French troops. The only way the French can protect themselves is by raising their shields over their heads. The shields of the soldiers overlap, forming a large shell of protection from the fiery arrows.

This defensive technique was also used by the Roman legionaries during New Testament times, and was known as testudo, which means tortoise in Latin. Testudo was primarily used to protect the soldiers from arrows and other missiles.

It is significant that Paul says "Above all". The phrase "Above all" could be replaced by "Most importantly" or "More than these," and the meaning would seem to be unchanged. However, as indicated by my example, "above all" illustrates one of the ways "the shield of faith" can protect us. Not only can we use it in hand-to-hand combat, but we can raise it against "the fiery darts of the wicked" that come at us from above, seemingly out of nowhere. The "shield of faith" can be used singly, but it is especially effective when used in groups. The shields of other Christians added to mine can provide a larger space of protection, a bigger shell.

The English in Timeline do not send only burning arrows against the French, but also send unlit arrows which descend upon the unsuspecting French, invisible against the night sky. These arrows are undetectable until they are close enough that the French soldiers can hear the wind whistling through the fletchings (the guiding feathers on the ends). Even though they will not set fire to the grass or the soldiers' clothes, these arrows are more deadly, since soldiers cannot see them and therefore cannot prepare for their impact as quickly as they can for the "fiery darts."

Not all of the arrows against us will be burning and obvious. Some will appear suddenly out of the night and catch us off our guard if we are not careful and alert. Nehemiah took precautions against such stealthy night attacks:

And I said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, The work is great and large, and we are separated upon the wall, one far from another.
In what place therefore ye hear the sound of the trumpet, resort ye thither unto us: our God shall fight for us.
So we laboured in the work: and half of them held the spears from the rising of the morning till the stars appeared.
Likewise at the same time said I unto the people, Let every one with his servant lodge within Jerusalem, that in the night they may be a guard to us, and labour on the day.
So neither I, nor my brethren, nor my servants, nor the men of the guard which followed me, none of us put off our clothes, saving that every one put them off for washing.
Nehemiah 4:19-23 (emphasis mine)

Nehemiah set a guard, gathered his people together, and remained clothed, ready for battle. He also placed his faith in God, confident that He would fight for them. The belief that "our God shall fight for us" did not mean that Nehemiah and his fellow-builders could let down their guard or put down their weapons--they still had to fight--but because the Lord was on their side, they could count on Him giving them the victory. Just as all those who believe in Him can.

I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place.
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?
The LORD taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me.
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.

Ps. 118: 5-8

An Evening Prayer (in verse)

If I have wounded any soul today,
If I have caused one foot to go astray,
If I have walked in my own willful way--
Good Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,
If I have turned aside from want or pain,
Lest I myself should suffer through the strain--
Good Lord, forgive!

If I have craved for joys that are not mine,
If I have let my wayward heart repine,
Dwelling on things of earth, not things divine--
Good Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse, or hard, or cold,
If I have longed for shelter in thy fold,
When Thou hast given me some part to hold--
Good Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee,
Forgive the secret sins I do not see,
That which I know not, Father, teach Thou me--
Help me to live.

~ Charles H. Gabriel

Prayer

I found this little gem a very long time ago, but just remembered it. I think it belongs in this blog.

Dear Lord, I don't know [his] name. I don't know where he lives. I don't know what he's doing this minute, but some day [he'll] be my [husband]. Right now, by Your love, I will begin to love [him]. I will stock pile large deposits of love here in my heart so I'll have plenty on hand when we meet.
Take good care of [him], Lord, and until You bring [us] together, give [us] both all the lessons, experieces, and, yes, even sufferings that will produce growth. Develop [us] into the adults You want [us] to be.
Bring [him] to me in the following years. I'm eager to be that [man's] wife.

In the Name of Christ, Amen.

adapted from Joyce Landorf's Mix Butter with Love. The substitutions are in place because Joyce was praying about her future daughter-in-law.

Revelations of jot and tittle

I lay in bed, endeavouring to go to sleep, when suddenly I had a revelation:
I must not think of myself self-pityingly as "still waiting" (sigh), but rather must be still, waiting. This is the direct command of God:

Be still, and know that I am God. (Ps. 46:10a)
Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. (Ps. 27:14)

The difference between "still waiting" and "still, waiting" (besides the sigh) is one tiny comma, yet it makes all the difference to the state of my heart. The first action is being still. Instead of running around frantically looking for a husband because "I'm getting older and I'm all alone and all my friends are getting married, etc." I must place myself in a place of resting on the Lord. To the inaction of being still is added the command, "and know that I am God." It is not "Be still. Know I am God." But "Be still, and know that I am God." The conjunction "and" joins these two things together--they are coupled--stillness is necessary to know God. We must commune with Him in the stillness of our hearts. This means that our hearts must be emptied of the outside world, of our petty idols, "things," so that we have space to worship.

The first word "still" is in company (not joined) with another word, "waiting". The words are divided by a comma, they are not a phrase, but two separate words. Waiting in the Lord is not the anxious waiting of an expectant father in the hospital, pacing down the halls, wondering when, if ever, the contractions will be over and his wife wheeled down to the delivery room to birth their child; rather, it is, as I have quoted earlier(see Dec 7th entry),

"Steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear."
(S.D. Gordon from Quiet Talks on Prayer as quoted by Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity)

Steadfastness is perseverance in the face of trial or inaction. Patience is withstanding the temptation to help God along (like Abraham, like Rebecca). Expectancy is hope and confidence that the thing desired will be given and faith that God answers prayer. Obedience is not merely adhering to "Thou shalt not," but also the willingness to answer "Yes, Lord" to the "Thou shalt"'s. Listening is silence of the heart under the shadow of God's wing, and includes being "still", but it is being still "so as to hear". We cannot hear God's still, small voice if we keep banging on pots and pans, trying to get His attention. We must cut out the racket and be still, wait for Him to answer us. But we do not have to do it alone, for the psalmist confesses in the rest of Ps. 27:14, "be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thy heart." God gives us strength to do His will. But He is also a God who rewards faith in Him, as Jeremiah testifies,

The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
(Lamentations 3:25)

Christ Himself promises that "...all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."(Matt 21:22)

I ask for Christ-centred stillness and silent waiting on His will.

My Galahad

Self explanatory, I think.

My Galahad--a virgin knight,
His face with lordly honour bright--
Each day he fights the Fight of Fights,
Unending battle for the right.

A princely man, the bravest swain,
He does not quail tho' there be pain;
Thought treachery may bring him gain,
That path he spurns, tho' he be slain.

Tho' evil men against him rail,
He will not heed them or grow pale.
He searches worlds to no avail
Finding only in God, his long-sought grail.

Always--Matt Dusk

Can I have a moment of your time
And leave this far behind
Can you find the time to take a chance
Just walk with me tonight

Even though the rain must fall
Baby that will pass
Listen to the words I say
I've saved them just for you

You're safe with me tonight
And Always
As sure as this full moon
And Always

Lets sit around and shed those lonely tears
While days turn into years

Even though the rain must fall
Baby that will pass
Listen to the words I say
I've saved them just for you

You're safe with me tonight
And Always
As sure as this full moon
And Always

Nothing lasts not the good times or the bad
They all just become the past
Sometimes your heart can turn on dime
What made you cry will one day make you smile

You're safe with me tonight
And Always
As sure as this full moon
You're safe with me tonight
And Always

While on the subject of being given things, I should include these lyrics which come from a song of the same name, on a CD entitled "Two Shots" by the Toronto Jazz singer, Matt Dusk.
I was really blue, in a real "Mood Indigo," one night, feeling lonely and teary and everything a single girl feels when she's overtired and awake at one in the morning. I was sitting on my bed, watery-eyed (and I don't cry that often, if you would believe it!), and listening to Matt Dusk's rather melancholy CD. I was asking God for help to go on, wondering why I was/am still single and feeling oh-so-lonely, when this song came on. Now I'd listened to this CD quite a few times before and never particularly noticed this song, but that night, it became mine, my love song from God.
God was asking for me to really spend time in relationship with Him and reminding me of His constant protection. The assurance and love was overwhelming and I just broke down in full out sobs of gratitude (and I don't cry that often, remember). And I have to remind myself that His love is surer than the "full moon" since He is the one who created it in the first place.
Even now I can feel the love, the true LOVE, that came to me through this song. It was one of the most moving experiences of my entire life!

“For we walk by faith, not by sight...” 2 Corinthians 5:7

My soul is shod in faith
With grace as guarantee,
And I am safe where e'er I go:
My Jesus walks with me.

My soul walks weary miles
Upholden by his arm;
His rod and staff are in my hand,
I will not come to harm.

My soul does dance in joy
And stumbles when in grief,
But though the road dust blinds my eye,
God helps my unbelief.

My soul is shod in faith
With grace as guarantee,
And I am safe where e'er I go:
My Jesus walks with me.

Feb. 19, 2004

I wrote this poem a while ago (as the date beneath it testifies), but felt I needed to add it to my blog. This is the form it is supposed to be, rather than that in the side bar, but...I cannot figure out how to get it set up properly, so...
Anyway, this poem was really given to me. I woke up that February morning and was lying in bed, when suddenly, the first verse began running through my head. I hurried to write it down and the rest of the poem just kind of fell into place. Only then did I find the scripture reference. This was the first time this ever happened to me. Most of my poems evolve from meanderings born out of a desire to write at least something!

Refined

Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. Isa 48:10

For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. Ps. 22:24

And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers: And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. Isa. 30:20-21

It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. Ps. 119:71

Affliction is a tool of punishing, but also one of teaching. God's people suffer in the world because they, as C.S. Lewis pointed out, were made for another world. We don't belong here. We are "strangers and pilgrims on the earth"(Heb 11:13) and as such, we do not have a place of our own, a place to hunker down in and stay put. Nothing here on earth can fill the place of God. We are temples of Christ here on earth, but we must abide in Him as well. (Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. John 15:4) We are to be anchored in Christ. Our sustenance comes from the Vine: He is the One with roots, we are the wanderers, who find our place in Him.

Too often we attempt to fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts with things, be they people, money, possessions, sports, food, or, in my case, books. God commands us to worship Him alone, forsaking idols. When we do, we will grow in grace under God's protection and produce fruit.

Ephraim shall say, What have I to do any more with idols? [And God says] I have heard him, and observed him: I am like a green fir tree. From me is thy fruit found. Hosea 14:8

I've been doing a lot of reading lately and the thing that keeps coming up is the fact that having possessions and having a desire for certain things is not wrong, rather it is when we begin treating them like the answer to our emptiness that they become our idols and stumbling blocks. A. W. Tozer puts it this way, in his book, The Pursuit of God:

There is within the human heart a tough fibrous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess. It covets `things' with a deep and fierce passion. The pronouns `my' and `mine' look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. They express the real nature of the old Adamic man better than a thousand volumes of theology could do. They are verbal symptoms of our deep disease. The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die. Things have become necessary to us, a development never originally intended. God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution.


It is difficult, since very often these things are comfortable and comforting, a refuge from the blows of the world. Just like a child must give up sucking his thumb/soother (or face the inevitable laughter of his school mates), we must give up these false comforters and find our Refuge in the true Comforter. Sometimes, it is necessary to cut ourselves off entirely from these things (Ephraim shall say, What have I to do any more with idols?) in order to break our dependence on them. We may be able to reintroduce some things back into our lives, but we have to be aware that it will easy to fall back into old habits. The old nature is, as Joanna Weaver says in her book Having a Mary Spirit, our default mode and when we "crash" (as we will do--we're not perfect after all), it will be the program that turns up most often.
However, we do not have to do this on our own--indeed, we cannot--God places the will and the strength in our hearts to divorce ourselves from these petty "lovers." In C.S. Lewis's The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Aslan tells Eustace, who has, through loving dragon hoard, turned into a dragon, that before he can enter the pool and become human again,"first you must undress"--remove the dragon scales that cover him. Eustace scrapes away gamely, but each layer removed reveals another underneath. Finally, Aslan offers to help him and Eustace accepts (remaining afraid of the Lion's sharp claws). The skin Aslan pulls off is much thicker than those Eustace had shed by himself and it hurt when it was removed.

The same thing happens when we scrape away at our old nature, we take away single layers, but God can remove much more with a single "claw"-- affliction -- in any guise Him choses. Not everyone requires a world-shattering tragedy to remove their dependence on "things." God uses affliction in our lives to refine us,burning away the dross in our lives in "the furnace of affliction." God knows how much we can stand and He will adjust the "temperature" to our individual requirements.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted [also can be translated "tested"] above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1Cor 10:13

God also uses affliction to guide us and bring us closer to Himself.

And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers: Isa. 30:20

If we, instead of complaining, humble ourselves under His Hand and allow God to show us His working, we will see how "all things work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28). And He will not leave us alone to struggle on blindly, but "will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: [He] will guide thee with [His] eye" (Ps.32:8). Not only will He guide us with His eye, but He will speak to us in a "still, small voice"--

And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. Isa. 30:21

We may not be aware at the time how God is working, but we may be sure that His purpose is to our future good--we have already been redeemed, now we are just waiting for our Husband to come and take us home.

Take Me

Encompassed in Almighty arms,
Aglow with new life.
Feeling golden, transparent. Alive. And at peace.
Rocked in the long grass,
Face down in the sky,
Open, vulnerable, and glad for it.
O Lord, tear through my thickened veil and take me.


And I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you a God: and ye shall know that I am the LORD your God, which bringeth you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.
Ex. 6:7(emphasis mine)

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1 Cor 13:12(emphasis mine)

Emotional Boundaries

It is important for us as single people to set boundaries on our emotions, as the writer of Proverbs says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life" (Prov. 4:23). We must guard our hearts carefully or we will end up giving bits of them away.

Our emotions belong first and foremost to God, then to ourselves, family and friends. We give them. They are not taken from us and we are not owed anything for giving them--we give them as a gift. We do not need to feel obligated to give them out willy-nilly. We must not prostitute our emotions. It may seem crude to put it that way, but so often (in my case anyway) we waste our affection on "puppy-love" relationships and infatuations that go nowhere. And when these infatuations finally die off, we find ourselves looking for another place to dump our affections, only to discover we are again wasting our time, our love. We have invested a part of our hearts in the "relationship", reciprocated or not, and we can't get it back.
We are not heart whole anymore. Every time our "crush" dies, part of our heart dies with it. We have emotional hang ups that can last our life time.

It is right to desire a relationship with a "Significant Other," God created us with longings for a soul mate("It is not good that the man should be alone" Gen 2:18), but it is not right to begrudge others their relationships and the affection that that involves. As a single person, we must give our whole heart to God. Our affection is not to be engaged elsewhere--especially not brooding and being discontent with the situation God has set us in.

Our job as a single person is to keep our emotions unattached until God brings us into contact with our future spouse. This, of course, depends on His will regarding our lives: if we are meant to be single, we will be. We cannot try and "help" God to find us a soul mate. We need to take our lesson from Abraham, and not try and fulfill God's promises for Him (ie. Hagar and Ishmael).

We must wait in God, place our trust in Him. This does not mean we are waiting for something, such as proof that our waiting for a Significant Other will pay out in the end. We must wait and trust that He will do what is best for us--not that He will do what we think is best for us.
Oswald Chambers said (My Utmost for His Highest), that the first type (waiting for a sign) of "[w]aiting for God is incarnate unbelief, it means that I have no faith in Him; I wait for Him to do something in me that I may trust in that.... It is a question of faith in God--the rarest thing; we have faith only in our feelings."

This is such a common trap. We cannot rely upon our feelings--they are much too fleeting. We cannot place our hope in another mere human. We need Someone more to have real faith in or we are lost. We will drown in the surf of our surging emotions if we do not have a Rock to cling to in their midst.

But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!"
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Matt 14:30-31

And yet God works in us, despite our questioning and doubts. We must be careful that we are not only buoyed up by our feelings, but by true faith and trust in Christ.

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised).
Hebrews 10:23